I definitely have to say, this semester has been by far the worst semester of all the time I have been here. Sometimes I literally wonder how much worse can it get. Between losing all of my closest friends and struggling with new friendships, I seriously wonder how much can I hit rock bottom before I nestle a little hole and chill out.
I wonder what happened to my Covenant experience. I think as soon as Eliot walked out of my life, things began to turn sour from then on. It’s infuriating. I’m infuriated because I feel like I don’t have anyone to vent to about my emotions anymore. I still wait for things to get better..
I just hope things can turn out well because everyday it gets harder to be here. I used to love being here and now it’s not the same. I don’t know how to turn a semester gone wrong into a semester gone well. Anyone know how to reverse a bad thing? I keep telling myself just one more year, just one more year, and waiting for the semester to end.
I hate feeling lonely, but at the same time I enjoy my quiet time. I’ve got lots to think about and pray about especially. I’ll be praying for guidance. I don’t want to go home, that I know for sure. I can’t deal with my mother and her crazy church obsession all over again. I kinda feel like I’m standing in this wicked corner of unknowns.
God help me.